Monday, December 9, 2013

When the wonder just isn't there...

In all honesty I have a difficult time finding the wonder in this "most wonderful time of year."

As the holidays are bustling around us, I find myself in a familiar state of melancholy amidst this holiday season. (My real wish is for this time to come and go as quickly as possible and to wake up on January 2nd and start anew.)
Merry and bright, I know ... I said it out loud ... Are you still with me?

The days seem long,
Sometimes the nights feel longer
Yet time is continually marching on...
So I must continually seek my truth in a season that feels void of the wonderful.

There is magnificent wonder in my life and it has nothing to do with this time of year. This is the truth in which I need to fix my eyes and my heart.

My life is blessed beyond measure with family and friends who love me and above all else a God who made me, exactly as He intended me to be for this very time.
Sigh.

Near and far, people have touched my life beyond measure this year alone - From loving the love-less and being graced with infectious spirits in Kisumu, Kenya, to late night talks with old and dear friends, to soul baring & joy seeking on a sofa, to cookie baking / dancing / singing / giggling with my nephews & niece, to bringing out the sassy & classy thirty-something - this is where I MUST find "my" wonder.

There is passion and love and purpose here and inside my heart.
There is also immeasurable gratitude for the love and support that is shown to me, daily.
There is so much more ...

When I feel alone, shrouded in darkness and cannot find my words or hear my own voice - this is where I need to believe.

Joy comes in the morning.