It seems like yesterday but also a lifetime ago that you left the world as we know it to be.
I remember that
day so vividly in my mind, like it is frozen in time.
A Thursday in
April that started out so ordinary, now engraved on our hearts with the wound
of grief.
All those things
we didn’t say…
My greatest longing
for you was to be well – to be happy and safe, out of trouble or harms way and
to know your worth.
I know you
wanted this for me, too.
My deepest regret
is the last time I saw you on this earth, I was angry and hurt that you were
high.
I’m sorry. I
know you are, too.
My love for you
has never wavered.
I know now that
you genuinely loved me, too.
You wanted to
protect us -
From your pain –
your hurt – your demons –your fears – your experiences – your addiction.
I wish I could
have shouldered some of that burden for you.
My heart aches
for the suffering of others and I truly believe that began with you, dear
brother.
Thank you for
teaching me to see people and to desire to know them fully.
(Ubuntu.)
I am growing
into the knowledge that you can’t experience joy without experiencing pain - One
simply cannot exist without the other.
My hope lies in
knowing that what was once lost, can be found and where there is sorrow,
sweetness will someday follow.
I believe you will
always be a friend to many young and old , here and in heaven above.
To my oldest
sibling, as I continue to grow and change with the passing of time -
You are forever young.
You are remembered
You are loved
You remain a part
of us.
~
In the wake of death,
may we all find life -
And live it abundantly.
#fifteenyears #timemarcheson #personal
xo,
